I just got back from WomanSong with Mom. It was an amazing weekend, but more on that later...
I can feel BIG things happening in my life. An energy shift is upon me...I don't know what it means just yet...but I know it's something. I wish I could say that it's coming by ways of positive means. Instead, I feel at the brink of losing my mind. I have definitely been out of 'alignment' for some time now...and I'm hopeful that I'm in the process of finding my center. I know that I won't be able to do this alone. I will need others to remind me who I am. I'm also hoping that the acupuncture will help me get a little more balance.
Let the deconstruction begin. I'm having some difficulty with some of these concepts...this 'nothing means anything'...'I have given everything around me all of the meaning it has for me', etc. I can relate to most of this; however, I have a very difficult time applying this to Adam, Collin and Aaron. I'm trying not to get bogged down with it. I think the quote 'you are yet too inexperienced as yet to avoid a tendency to become pointlessly preoccupied' is so true. I find my mind wandering...preoccupied with all of the things I think I need to get done in the maybe half hour of time I have to myself each day.
I wanted to make sure I documented lesson 5 so here that is...
*I am not frustrated with Adam for the reasons that I think
*I am no angry with Judy for the reasons that I think
*I am not disappointed with my friends for the reasons I think
*I am not afraid about ending my career for the reasons I think.
I'm having a lot of difficulty with the 'past' concept. I'm hoping this time shift will be easier to understand as we go along. To be real honest, my tendency is to not want to continue with the next lesson until I have 'mastered' the previous ones. It's taking a conscious effort to actually continue reading...and not let myself get hung up.
I'm really excited about blogging our progress. In order for this to work, I know that I'm going to have to be more honest than I would like. While I was away this weekend, I realized just how ugly I have been to Adam. We really have a special relationship...and I'm wondering why in the past year I feel like I have been competing with him. Over what...I have absolutely NO idea. I do know that I am not happy with the way that I treat him...I'm really not happy with the way that I react over pointless things.
The thing that strikes me the most right now is that this 'mystic' theme seems to be reappearing in many areas of my life. For example, I first heard about the Kabbalah in "Bee Season" and then wouldn't you know that the next book I pick up to read "My Grandfather's Blessing" is about Jewish mysticism, too. Basically one can substitute the word "blessing" for "miracle" and many of the themes are identical between the religious institutions. I'm beginning to wonder why religion evolved to be so separatist...what advantage is there to believing your way is the only way...at the expense of everyone else? This has been a fundamental problem for me for years...
So...that's enough of that for now. Back to WomanSong. I had a clairvoyant do aura readings for myself, Collin and Aaron...and here is what she said:
Collin is tempered and quick to intense emotional reaction, so passionate...feistiness...will likely own his own business...he is a balance of grounded and practical, a need for a stable environment, a lover of nature, inspiration received through community with the natural world-would be an excellent forester, ranger, protector of the animal world
Aaron has a cool aura...with blends of creative expression (artistic), constant change, business, love of learning (intelligent) and loving and sensitive.
Mine indicated need for creative thinking, charting my own course, not concerned with social norms; non judgmental, love of the earth and respect for the balance of nature and the earth’s rhythms.
Ellen...you would have loved this event. Turns out that WomanSong is the weekend of Chelsea and Harley's wedding in 2008. Big fat NUTS to that. I've been hoping to make WomanSong an annual event for me and other important women in my life...it's very therapeutic to be around only women...
I can feel BIG things happening in my life. An energy shift is upon me...I don't know what it means just yet...but I know it's something. I wish I could say that it's coming by ways of positive means. Instead, I feel at the brink of losing my mind. I have definitely been out of 'alignment' for some time now...and I'm hopeful that I'm in the process of finding my center. I know that I won't be able to do this alone. I will need others to remind me who I am. I'm also hoping that the acupuncture will help me get a little more balance.
Let the deconstruction begin. I'm having some difficulty with some of these concepts...this 'nothing means anything'...'I have given everything around me all of the meaning it has for me', etc. I can relate to most of this; however, I have a very difficult time applying this to Adam, Collin and Aaron. I'm trying not to get bogged down with it. I think the quote 'you are yet too inexperienced as yet to avoid a tendency to become pointlessly preoccupied' is so true. I find my mind wandering...preoccupied with all of the things I think I need to get done in the maybe half hour of time I have to myself each day.
I wanted to make sure I documented lesson 5 so here that is...
*I am not frustrated with Adam for the reasons that I think
*I am no angry with Judy for the reasons that I think
*I am not disappointed with my friends for the reasons I think
*I am not afraid about ending my career for the reasons I think.
I'm having a lot of difficulty with the 'past' concept. I'm hoping this time shift will be easier to understand as we go along. To be real honest, my tendency is to not want to continue with the next lesson until I have 'mastered' the previous ones. It's taking a conscious effort to actually continue reading...and not let myself get hung up.
I'm really excited about blogging our progress. In order for this to work, I know that I'm going to have to be more honest than I would like. While I was away this weekend, I realized just how ugly I have been to Adam. We really have a special relationship...and I'm wondering why in the past year I feel like I have been competing with him. Over what...I have absolutely NO idea. I do know that I am not happy with the way that I treat him...I'm really not happy with the way that I react over pointless things.
The thing that strikes me the most right now is that this 'mystic' theme seems to be reappearing in many areas of my life. For example, I first heard about the Kabbalah in "Bee Season" and then wouldn't you know that the next book I pick up to read "My Grandfather's Blessing" is about Jewish mysticism, too. Basically one can substitute the word "blessing" for "miracle" and many of the themes are identical between the religious institutions. I'm beginning to wonder why religion evolved to be so separatist...what advantage is there to believing your way is the only way...at the expense of everyone else? This has been a fundamental problem for me for years...
So...that's enough of that for now. Back to WomanSong. I had a clairvoyant do aura readings for myself, Collin and Aaron...and here is what she said:
Collin is tempered and quick to intense emotional reaction, so passionate...feistiness...will likely own his own business...he is a balance of grounded and practical, a need for a stable environment, a lover of nature, inspiration received through community with the natural world-would be an excellent forester, ranger, protector of the animal world
Aaron has a cool aura...with blends of creative expression (artistic), constant change, business, love of learning (intelligent) and loving and sensitive.
Mine indicated need for creative thinking, charting my own course, not concerned with social norms; non judgmental, love of the earth and respect for the balance of nature and the earth’s rhythms.
Ellen...you would have loved this event. Turns out that WomanSong is the weekend of Chelsea and Harley's wedding in 2008. Big fat NUTS to that. I've been hoping to make WomanSong an annual event for me and other important women in my life...it's very therapeutic to be around only women...
I also thought you might appreciate a picture of the boys now and then...so I'll try to post a pic with the entry...although...it has no bearing on the contents!
to healing...and enlightenment...
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