Wow...so I'm terribly late this time...but things have been a bit hectic at our house. I had a deadline of end of Sept for a project at work, and I've been working on it non-stop since I learned that I completed it incorrectly the first time! Bad direction...but I've learned some important lessons from the experience...always meet with the director before proceeding down a path!....hmmmm maybe applicable to life as a whole?
We spent the weekend in Fargo making home brew. Sometime in the early evening I found myself humming 'Out on the Mira"...'they'll treat you to home brew, and help you unwind...and if you come broken, they'll see that you mend...I wish I was with them again...' fun times.
The material for this week was life-changing. Although we have moved on, I find myself repeating the phrase, 'I am determined to see.' There is so much power in that statement for me...so much hope.
As is usually the case; however, this is not all easy. I find myself wrestling with the following:
* why are we born 'seeing' incorrectly...it seems at the beginning of one's life, we should be close to our 'pure' state. I was watching Collin the other day...and all of a sudden he started processing events from the past, and I immediately realized that his thoughts are also in the past...and he experiences the present through the past (ie...positive experiences mean that we will be more apt to be able to repeat in the future). Maybe he is in the present more than I realize, but this is an interesting thought for me.
* why does a person work so hard to maintain the state of 'falseness'? Here I mean...what value is there in seeing incorrectly. What are we fighting so hard to keep?
* why is the image of the collective whole the same? so...i see a tan couch and Adam sees the same tan couch...isn't it real? does it look different to different people, or is our projection making others see the world from our point of view?
These are all questions that hang in the balance for me. Maybe they'll get answered this time around...and maybe they won't. I'm open to all of it.
I also experienced a feeling of terror this week...with the following questions:
*what if what is left is ugly...mean...?
We spent the weekend in Fargo making home brew. Sometime in the early evening I found myself humming 'Out on the Mira"...'they'll treat you to home brew, and help you unwind...and if you come broken, they'll see that you mend...I wish I was with them again...' fun times.
The material for this week was life-changing. Although we have moved on, I find myself repeating the phrase, 'I am determined to see.' There is so much power in that statement for me...so much hope.
As is usually the case; however, this is not all easy. I find myself wrestling with the following:
* why are we born 'seeing' incorrectly...it seems at the beginning of one's life, we should be close to our 'pure' state. I was watching Collin the other day...and all of a sudden he started processing events from the past, and I immediately realized that his thoughts are also in the past...and he experiences the present through the past (ie...positive experiences mean that we will be more apt to be able to repeat in the future). Maybe he is in the present more than I realize, but this is an interesting thought for me.
* why does a person work so hard to maintain the state of 'falseness'? Here I mean...what value is there in seeing incorrectly. What are we fighting so hard to keep?
* why is the image of the collective whole the same? so...i see a tan couch and Adam sees the same tan couch...isn't it real? does it look different to different people, or is our projection making others see the world from our point of view?
These are all questions that hang in the balance for me. Maybe they'll get answered this time around...and maybe they won't. I'm open to all of it.
I also experienced a feeling of terror this week...with the following questions:
*what if what is left is ugly...mean...?
*what if I don't like what I am, and more importantly what i have done to Adam's spirit
*sometimes this material seems anti-Christian...challenging beliefs of SPLC. I should elaborate here. I had this moment this week where I thought that maybe these two psychologists just made this all up to see if people really would believe anything (on the vein of sociologists, some who believe that religion was necessary as we evolved, because we need meaning in our lives). I don't know why I thought of this...but thought it might be worth mentioning.
I'm particularly struck by the power of the collective thought...similar to when you are in your car and look over at the person next to you in their car and they look back. There is definitely a connection there...maybe more powerful than we think.
I think we really need to get Mom on board. I've been meaning to call her and get her started. I think it will be OK if we are not all on the same page. I hate to admit that I've missed a few days, so I'm a little behind. We may have to build in a catch-up week? Your thoughts.
I'm off to analyze my data set. I'm hoping to get that done tonight, so that I can spend the day tomorrow writing up the summary. Data is due on Friday...go team.
LOVE YOU...
may your week be blessed.
*sometimes this material seems anti-Christian...challenging beliefs of SPLC. I should elaborate here. I had this moment this week where I thought that maybe these two psychologists just made this all up to see if people really would believe anything (on the vein of sociologists, some who believe that religion was necessary as we evolved, because we need meaning in our lives). I don't know why I thought of this...but thought it might be worth mentioning.
I'm particularly struck by the power of the collective thought...similar to when you are in your car and look over at the person next to you in their car and they look back. There is definitely a connection there...maybe more powerful than we think.
I think we really need to get Mom on board. I've been meaning to call her and get her started. I think it will be OK if we are not all on the same page. I hate to admit that I've missed a few days, so I'm a little behind. We may have to build in a catch-up week? Your thoughts.
I'm off to analyze my data set. I'm hoping to get that done tonight, so that I can spend the day tomorrow writing up the summary. Data is due on Friday...go team.
LOVE YOU...
may your week be blessed.
1 comment:
so what if this is late. we started this so we can do what we want, by golly. "i do what i WANT." sorry...random overused quote from the summer....that doesn't make sense out of context.
i kind of suspect we might not be on the same page (like maybe edition one and two are different for our readings????)
anyway, this week has been insane, and it scares me a bit b/c this is my "easy" semester. it's only going to get lots and lots busier. but part of my business wasn't school or work, it was helping out friends. and let's be honest...when a hot guy asks me if i'll help him sample a stream, there's no way in hell i'm saying no.
ok, on to the beef.
i often feel guilt over these exercises b/c you're supposed to do like 5 sessions a day, just thinking thoughts and saying phrases to yourself. i'm lucky if i remember 2 times a day. whatever. i'm trying. but the point is that i might not be getting the full gist of the exercise b/c of it. like you said, a couch is a couch is a couch, but i guess that might not really be the case. this week i underlined "every thought you have contributes to truth or illusion; either it extends the truth or it multiplies the illusion." i'm still working on my thoughts, which i guess is the goal. the kicker though, was the "i am determined to see things differently" segment, wasn't it. it's funny how most thoughts that come into my head are defensive and i go into attack mode immediately. the point is that we're all trying, and we WANT to see differently, even if we can't just yet.
i feel braindead at the moment, so if i'm feeling spunky i'll add more at a later time.
love.
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