One of Those Weeks

I never would've believed kindergarten would be the straw that broke our schedule's back. I guess I just assumed that things would only get easier as our kids started school...I now fear the opposite is true.

My first clue should have been Matt calling me at work during the All-Staff Meeting, asking if I had time to talk (apparently for an entire hour). As I hung up the phone, I could sense he was apprehensive about his ability to continue orchestrating his responsibilities of the Anderson/Beduhn kid swap, but remained optimistic that we would be able to make it work, just as we have for every other scheduling difficulty of the past 3 1/2 years.

However, after our two hour discussion in the kitchen over gin and tonics between 10 and midnight on Wednesday night, I was less hopeful regarding the continuation of our agreement. The high points:

1. Collin's school at Westwood in Bloomington begins at 8:30. Henry begins school in Eden Prairie at 9:30. This gives Matt approximately 2.5 hours at his office on France and 494 on Wednesday and Friday mornings, sandwiched between one hour of complicated kid shuttling on both sides. (9:30-Matt sees Henry to the bus and then drives James and Kate to Beduhns, 9:30-9:45-Matt drops James and Kate at Beduhns, 10-Matt arrives at work, 12:30-Matt leaves work, 12:45-Matt picks up James and Kate after lunch, 1:00-Matt arrives back in EP in time to put Kate down for afternoon nap, 3:30-Matt gets Henry off the bus).
2. Molly negotiated a schedule change, so she now is able to work 1/2 days on Wednesdays. This means if Matt is willing to sacrifice his Wed am to watching James and Kate, he and Molly can high five at noon and he can work the rest of the afternoon in his office.
3. James and Aaron are enrolled in Tue/Thurs 9:00-11:30 preschool at St. Andrews in Eden Prairie, which means Adam's schedule, in addition to being crazy on Tue to accommodate both preschool and Lori daycare, is uber crazy on Thursdays. (8:00-Adam drops Aaron and Nolan at Andersons, 8:15-Adam logs into his computer at work, 8:30-Adam returns to Andersons to collect Aaron and James, 9:00-Adam drops Aaron and James at St. Andrews, 11:30-Adam collects Aaron and James from preschool, 11:50-Adam drops Aaron and James back at Andersons, 12:00-Adam back at his desk, 4:30-Adam leaves work to retrieve Aaron and Nolan from the Andersons).

It all sounds impossible...so we decided to sleep before making any final decisions. By Thursday morning we have indication from Molly as Adam is dropping off the boys that the arrangement is no longer mutually beneficial, so I e-mail Lori to check on the possibility of her watching Aaron and Nolan another day of the week. Since she recently accepted two new families into her practice, she is unable to accommodate us. In addition, I learned on Friday that there is no room for Aaron at St. Stephen's preschool (which is just minutes from our home and comes highly recommended by moms at TLC), so we will continue with preschool in Eden Prairie for now.

I'm doing my best not to panic, but I sense the sun may be setting on my career. I always hoped a decision of this magnitude would be on my own terms, and not a function of logistics and schedules. I can't help but feeling a little sad, because I really love my job and the fact that I'm able to maintain my career working only 2 days a week. I'm confident this time away to nourish my intellect makes me a better mom, and helps me have a greater appreciation for the moments I'm able to share with the boys. It's ironic really...5 1/2 years ago after having Collin, I would have done anything to stay at home with him. And now, I'm clinging desperately to my career, as one of the few things I have left that is uniquely my own.

It's unfortunate the we didn't have these conversations with the Andersons until now, since our entire schedule is built around this arrangement. I think I may be harboring some stress, since Susan from Kid Safari made me cry by demanding I know my fall schedule today or else pay her additional dollars.

Adam is confident that this will all work out. He's usually right...in fact, he's always been right. We've been saying for a long time that our schedule is too hectic, and maybe this is finally an answer to prayer. I guess I just have to have a little faith...