Caregivers

Judy’s husband, Carlos, was diagnosed with esophageal cancer this spring, after visiting the hospital for what he thought was just painful acid reflux. He has since endured two rounds of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. It is always striking to me how the course of life can be profoundly altered in a matter of moments. His cancer has also left remarkable, albeit less visually obvious, marks on Judy, his primary caregiver. A study presented during continuing education training at the NMDP focusing on caregivers revealed that caregivers rated their overall quality of life lower than the person receiving the care. It is quite common for caregivers to put their loved-one’s needs first and neglect their own physical and mental health. As a caregiver to three young boys, I can personally attest to these findings. And as Lori Zywicki just wrote in an e-mail regarding Nolan's adjustment to daycare…"sometimes I wish I was a baby so someone would hold me, rock me, feed me, rub my back, etc...”

The boys and I went over to St. Paul after lunch to get Judy out of the house. While walking to the playground at the nearby middle school, we ran into one of Judy's neighborhood friends...who, incidentally, saved my older boys from what appeared to be, based on their reactions, near-fatal dehydration. Upon our return to Judy's house, the boys sat in the living room and made Carlos laugh.

When we left, Carlos was noticeably lighter...happier, having spent time with the boys. They were happy, too...somehow knowing that they helped brighten his day.