Adjusting

I sent Collin and Aaron with their marching orders..."if Nolan is having a tough day, please try to make him laugh...and if Lori can't get him to take his bottle, will you try, Collin?" I knew I was putting a lot of responsibility on their shoulders, but I wasn't too excited about leaving Nolan. After all, we haven't been apart yet...and to be honest, we are pretty attached to each other.

I also sent the following note to Lori...to update her on the boys schedules. I actually sent a few notes (in the spirit of a Mom who doesn't like to relinquish control).

"Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 2:23 PM
Subject: Collin, Aaron and Nolan

Good afternoon Lori.

Adam and the boys will be at your house around 7:30 tomorrow morning. Thanks for being flexible with us on days. It is so appreciated.

Nolan has a kind and gentle spirit. He smiles easily...and generally only cries when he needs something. He's been 'chatting' lately...which is very sweet. He loves his brothers...they can usually make him smile...although, he can get a little overwhelmed with Aaron...and with Collin...if they get too close.

Nolan wakes between 7:00 and 7:30 each day. I wake him about 4 times/week at 5:30am to feed him so that I can go to yoga. I won't be doing this (at least yet) on the mornings that the boys come to your house...but I'm not sure what he's going to do with someone waking him for a car ride, either. He then eats about 3-4 oz...is awake for about an hour...and then wants an early morning nap. After he wakes from this nap, he is awake for varying times...but will need a bottle(offer 4-5 ounces), and another nap around 10:30-11:00am. He will sleep between 1.5 and 2 hours during this nap...after this one he will want a bottle. He will take another afternoon nap for you...and may or may not want food before settling in. He may even take another nap...depending on how long the early afternoon nap is. He's a kid that likes to eat when he wakes up...verses before he goes down for nap or bed...but one never knows how this will go for someone else. I provide all of this information only as a guide for you to know what he usually does for me...knowing that all of it might be different for you. I don't feel that he's really settled into his permanent' schedule yet.

Please enjoy him...and love him. He's only drinking breast milk. Please transfer from plastic bottle to 'Adiri' bottle (Adam may have to show you how to use it, since it can be 'leaky' if you don't know what you're doing), warm in warm water, and feed him. If he doesn't take the bottle from you...maybe have Collin try to offer it to him. Please just rinse the bottle with water between feedings.

When Nolan starts to get tired, he rubs his eyes with his fist, and will start to rub his head into your chest if you are holding him. To settle him for sleep, please just swaddle him in a blanket, settle him with a little 'bouncing while standing' and lay him in the crib awake. We usually give him his nook...and you may need to give him his nook during his nap if he awakes too early. It's my prediction that he will eventually figure out his thumb...as I find him self soothing with his fist frequently. He gets really upset when he gets tired (you will probably think it's hunger...but I've had to learn the hard way that it's exhaustion). This can happen very quickly sometimes...but he usually settles very easily.

Collin and Aaron are easy now...they play so well together...and genuinely love being in each other's company (at least most of the time!) Aaron is completely toilet trained (wears cotton underwear 100% at our house)...but I'll probably send him in pull-ups just in case he has an accident during nap time (this is rare, but can happen if he drinks too much juice, for instance). Collin is still having a daily quiet time...but naps are getting more and more sporadic. Lately, I've been reading to them for at least a half hour...and in that time frame Aaron crashes...and Collin will sometimes fall asleep. If not, he has a quiet time for at least an hour. I'm still watching my friend's boys on Wednesdays and that day I read them all books together in the living room and send them to their respective rooms for nap/quiet time.

I don't think there's really anything else new with Collin and Aaron. I pray that Nolan is good for you. It's always hard to leave the baby...

Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns about tomorrow. I'm in the house now...working on a HUGE pile of laundry...so I will keep checking my e-mail. I'll have his first immunization record for you for your files...and a check. Thanks again for watching the boys. We appreciate your family so much.
Blessings on your day.
Beth"

I've been working from home for 7 weeks doing search consultations, but this was my first day back at the office. I jumped right back into the action, completing 4 CSA reports and drafting an abstract for the ASHI meeting. My goal was to stay very busy to keep my mind off the kids. The boys also had a good day. Nolan had a tough morning, but Lori reported that it took her about 45 minutes to feed him a bottle this afternoon because he was so busy smiling at her. That a way, Nolan. It will only get easier from here.

Overall, the adjustment from 4 to 5 family members has been pretty seamless for all of us, which wasn't the case when Collin was born, and certainly not the case when Aaron joined our family. This had nothing to do with the way Collin and Aaron were as babies. When Collin was born, Adam and I had to learn how to sustain our relationship in the presence of a newborn who demanded all the time we previously devoted selflessly to each other. When Aaron was born, I had a lot of guilt about the time and attention taken away from my relationship with Collin. By the time Nolan joined our family, we didn't have any time to spare...which left no room for difficulty or guilt, just appreciation for all the time we are able to spend together as a family.